I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
