Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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