Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
