girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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