I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
