No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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