hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
