i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
