Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
barbara walters just said penis...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
