im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
