ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
