sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
