A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
