I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
