I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
