Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
