Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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