Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
