if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
