standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
