I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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