Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
