maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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