Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
