then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
he's single and there are thong briefs.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
