i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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