And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
