do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
