you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
