If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
