walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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