they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
