bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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