genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize