Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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