I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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