Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
