I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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