First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
wow bdsm is so cute
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
