We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Farmville is her only friend.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
