When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
