it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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