i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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