I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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