There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
