And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
