I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
