Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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