is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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