your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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