i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
