I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
