im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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