"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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