There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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