It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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