they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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