Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
