at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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