She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
