Umm I'm too high to move.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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