What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Randomize