You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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