Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize