I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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