i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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