I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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